The Coaching Habit:  Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

by Michael Bungay Stanier

The Coaching Habit has me thinking more about asking questions rather than thinking of the best advice to give.  Having no answers or advice, the "coachee" will learn to talk themselves toward an answer of their own.

I hear so often that "the answer is in the room", but I think it should be extended to also say the answer is within each of us.  We can blind ourselves so we do not see that we are capable of overcoming obstacles.  We can get so conditioned when we reach a stuck point to only seek answers from others that we stop looking to ourselves.  

I have been there.  I have learned to rethink, to embrace my own curiosity, and to understand the need for a break in the work to allow for percolation.  By learning from to ask more questions, I want to help others look to themselves more often for answers, that to rely on others to "just tell me what you want me to do." 

The seven questions that are the basis of the coaching habit helped to lead my learning about leadership in a direction grounded in curiosity, not certainty.  I do not have, not do I want to have, all the answers.  I want to grow and learn with people.  

Using the vignettes, videos, and worksheets int he book, I will internalize these questions so they become ingrained in my practice:

1. Kickstarter:  What's on your mind?
2. AWE:  And what else?
3. Focus:  What's the real challenge here for you?
4. Foundation:  What do you want?
5. Lazy:  How can I help?
6. Strategic:  If you are saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?
7. Learning:  What was most useful for you?

These questions probably don't mean much, reading them as they are.  Pick up this book and read about each question, and enjoy the "Question Masterclasses" that are included in between each chapter.  I learned quite a bit; I'm sure you will, too.